Protect Your Marriage

What does marriage require for it to be successful?

Today I want to talk specifically about fidelity, and the negative consequences of infidelity.

Infidelity within marriages is rampant in today's society (although not as pervasive as is shown on the media), and we need to face it head on. What can we do to avoid infidelity, and strengthen fidelity within our marriages?

What is Marital Fidelity?

Fidelity means to be completely faithful or loyal. Loyal in thoughts, words, and actions. When I am loyal to someone I will protect and defend them at all costs. I would not do anything that would have the potential to hurt them emotionally, physically, or in any other way or form. It means establishing a deep trust with one another. We cannot sit passively, we need to always be on guard. We must actively protect our marriages, and families from the fiery darts of the adversary. 

"The grass is always greener...on the side of the fence you water."

Do we understand what Infidelity is?

The Lord loves all of His children, and wants us to be happy. Most people also want to have a happy successful marriage, yet sometimes we fall into temptation. Usually these temptations are subtle, and little by little one is led down a dark path. Marital infidelity is not just when one has sexual relations with another individual outside of marriage, there are various ways to be unfaithful. We must avoid all types of infidelity whether large or small. All have the potential to harm your relationship, and perhaps destroy your marriage.

From the articles and books I have been reading I have identified 4 types of affairs:

1.Fantasy- "Having an emotional affair with someone who has no knowledge about what is taking place, or with someone who is anonymous and will likely never be met." Examples include: flirting online, social networking, fantasizing about someone other than your spouse. This can also include fantasizing about people in movies or romantic books etc.

2.Visual- Visual affairs such as pornography. This is probably the most prevalent type of affair. And can become very addicting. Pornography is not just confined to images it is any medium that has the intent to lead to sexual arousal. This includes pornographic literature, movies, videos, music, words, images etc. We cannot rationalize, we must avoid pornography at all costs.

3.Romantic- "Becoming emotionally involved with someone other than his/her spouse." Also known as a second life. The media displays that people want to escape the monotony of everyday life. They may have a temporary happiness that may seem thrilling at the time, but it will not last; they will be disappointed over time.

4.Sexual- "When one engages in sexual acts outside the bonds of marriage. Many times visual affairs will lead to sexual affairs."

"Satan will try to convince us that we can find happiness, joy and pleasure in infidelity. Just the opposite is true. Even though it may seem for a time that everything is wonderful, President Benson warned, "Quickly the relationship will sour. Guilt and shame set in. We become fearful that our sins will be discovered. We must sneak and hide, lie and cheat. Love begins to die. Bitterness, jealousy, anger, and even hate begin to grow."

Ways to avoid Infidelity:

Wise Walls (written by Scott Gardner):

-Resist the desire to rescue an unhappy soul who pours their heart out to you.

-Don't share the most painful things of your soul with an attractive alternative. This develops deep levels of intimacy.

-If a conversation makes light of marriage, respond with something positive about your own marriage.

-Discuss marital issues with your spouse. Work on the problems at home. If you do need to talk to someone else about your marriage, be sure they are a friend of the marriage.

-Don't have lunch or take work breaks with same person all the time.

-When you travel with a co-worker, meet in the public rooms, not in a room with a bed.

-If an old boyfriend or girlfriend is going to be at a class reunion, make sure you bring your spouse along.

-If you value your marriage, don't do lunch alone with an old flame.

-Don't try to be cute or "flirty" with anyone other than your spouse.

-Do not allow your heart to dwell on anyone.

I know that as we strive to live in accordance with God's commandments that he will guide us to know the changes we need to make, and help us to avoid temptation. He Loves all of his children, and wants us to have beautiful marriages. I hope that we all will work hard each day to strengthen our marriages, and find joy in the family we have been blessed with.

Application: Pray to know a change you can make individually to be more loyal/faithful to your spouse.