IT IS IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO COMMUNICATE!

How Do I Communicate With Others? How Can I Improve?

The Goal: As you read seek to find the answers to the questions above.

Communication!!!
I want to focus on why we communicate, and non-verbal communication. Whether we are still single, in the dating stage, newly weds, married with kids, or grandparents. No matter your age or stage there is always ways to improve your communication.

What is Communication?
Communication is the process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior; exchange of information.

Why we communicate:
-Physical Needs- "Communication is so important it affects physical health."
-Identity Needs- "We decide who we are based on how others react to us."
-Social Needs- Communication is the primary way we satisfy our social needs."
-Practical Goals-  Communication helps us accomplish our goals.

We are always communicating it is impossible not to communicate. As human beings we need communication to survive. Whether it is non-verbally, verbally, or through the tone of our voice. There are various ways we communicate, and there are different levels of trust associated.  Below are the percentages of which area of communication people trust the most...

There are three channels of communication:
1.Words-         14%
2.Non-verbal-  51%
3.Tone-             35%
                      =100%

Above it says that 51% of people say that  non-verbal communication is what they trust when it comes to understanding another individual.Why is it that people trust our non-verbal communication the most?  Lets give an example to demonstrate: You ask a friend "How has your day been?" and your friend responds, "good." as she is frowning, tears in her eyes  and slouching in her chair.

Would you believe her verbal communication or her non-verbal communication? As you can see it is pretty obvious that this girl is not doing okay and you will trust what her non-verbal communication is telling you far more than the verbal response....so why does this even matter?

Non-verbal Communication can be very powerful, used for better or for worse.
I love this statement, "Nonverbal cues have a number of functions in communication. First they complement our words. If you say, "I love you" and touch or embrace the other, you are reinforcing the meaning of your words. Sometimes people may not really believe what we say or at least may have doubts, unless we reinforce the words with some kind of nonverbal behavior
In my life when I am reassured non-verbally I feel at ease, and more readily believe perhaps the verbal communication.

Other Functions of Non-verbal Communication include:
-non-verbal cues may contradict our words- this is like the story I shared above when someone is saying one thing but their body language is contradicting what they are saying verbally.
-non-verbal cues repeat the message- you can give a message without words, so for example I already know my mother loves me, she does not have to say it all the time. But she will give me a hug repeating that message of love.
-non-verbal cues regulate communication- When we are in conversations with others we can show that we are interested or disinterested by our body language. This can help with the flow of the conversation.
-non-verbal cues may substitute for words- For example a friend may ask if I liked the party, and I choose to smile, she knows that my answer is yes without me having to say anything verbally.
-non-verbal cues may accent the verbal message- As you are saying something such as "you look nice today" you could touch the persons shoulder to add greater meaning to the complement; accenting the verbal message.
-non-verbal cues may trigger attributions- "your partner will pick up on non-verbal cues and attribute various motivations and feelings to you."
-non-verbal cues influence both the attitudes and behaviors of others- "People are more likely to comply with a request if you touch them. In marriage such nonverbal behaviors as smiling, touching, and making frequent eye contact all affirm the relationship and can enhacne the commitment and the affectionate behavior of the partner."

Peter F. Drucker stated, "The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said."

Application: Non-verbally communicate your love for someone you care about this week.

References: Marriage and Family the Request for Intimacy, Looking Out, Looking In