A Family Crisis

Have you faced a "family crisis" recently, or in the past? If so, what caused it? How  did you feel during that time?  How did you respond? Did you grow as a result? 

So what is exactly a "Crisis"? In my eyes it is a danger or an opportunity. A family can choose to become stronger as a result or weaker depending on their individual choices.

We are going to come to understand how to effectively cope with family struggle's and turn a "Family Crisis" into an opportunity for growth.

Examples of Family Stressors:

• An unexpected death in the family (whether immediate family or extended)
• Divorce
• The loss of a job
• Health decline-permanent or temporary
• A child who chooses a wayward path; one that goes against the decided family morals.
• Drug addictions such as Alcohol
• Sexual Abuse
• Violence
• Financial concerns
• Natural Disasters

Above are some stressor's family's may experience over the years. Some may seem more daunting than others. Each event effects every individual in the family in some way; no one is exempt. There  is much learning and growth that will take place as we are effectively coping with these hardships together.Thomas S. Monson stated, "Our most significant opportunities will be found in times of greatest challenge."

Effective Coping Patterns:

• Take Responsibility- "charting a new course as an alternative to playing the victim game. In some cases, taking responsibility may involve confrontation."
• Affirm Your Own and Your Family's Worth-  Believe in yourself, and the strengths that you and your family have. Focus on the potential, and great worth you have individually.
• Balance Self-Concern with Other-Concern- "Someone who stays in an abusive relationship because "my spouse needs me" may be too other-focused. Someone who leaves a spouse simply because "I want my space so I can grow" may be too self-focused." Find a balance.
• Learn the Art of Reframing- "A way of changing your perspective on a situation...you learn to redefine something that you had defined as troublesome as adaptive and useful."
• Find and Use Available Resources- "Every family has numerous internal and external resources to which it can turn in a time of crisis" For example, religious groups, family members, extended family, books, self-help groups, friends etc.

Ineffective Coping Patterns:

• Denial- When you ignore the problem. Or deny that it exists. Instead we must openly admit there is a problem.
• Avoidance- When you acknowledge that the problem exists, but avoid confronting the issue for a long period of time.
• Scapegoating- Choosing someone other than yourself to blame for the crisis at hand. This oftentimes is found in abusive situations.

As we try to eliminate the ineffective coping patterns, and apply effective coping patterns we will be better able to respond to the hardships that we are encountering in our families. We cannot change others, but we can begin by choosing ourselves the way we will respond to the stressor events we encounter in life. As we turn to the Lord he will guide us to know what things we may need to change, he will bless us for our efforts.

President Spencer W. Kimball said, "No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God...and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in Heaven."

Application: Share with someone how to effectively cope during a "family crisis".